vibe check yourself before you vibe wreck yourself

Would you guys read a story about a pansexual demon summoning assassin who’s trying to carry out a hit against an annoying billionaire, but he keeps running into his angry, demon summoning assassin exes?

And they keep trying to stop him and he’s like ahaha you’re so sexy…please stop trying to kill me, I got evicted last month :((

And they’re like whatever.

Because I honestly.

Think it’s such a fun idea but agents don’t agree with me and I think I may self publish or publish with a smaller publisher.

And I gotta know.

Does that sound like fun to you?? Or am I insane??? I’m starting to think I’m fucking crazy.

turing-tested:

“the universe is cold and unfeeling and doesn’t care about us” is honestly kind of incredibly presumptuous as if you are not a part of the universe and are something entirely separate. you are a part of the universe. you care for others. you feel so many things. you are the universe experiencing itself.

(via section-69)

I don’t care that they made shinji get with a girl, I’m just mad they made kaworu get with a girl.

And rei especially like why? Cuz they got white hair? Fuck you that alien’s as gay as they come.

Where’s Bumble but for like, finding an archnemesis?

I don’t need a friend or a date or a business partner, I need an enemy as dramatic as me.

slimegirldick:

Love wins yet again

(via unyanizedcatboys)

outdean:

outdean:

they should offer top surgery in the Taco Bell drive thru

baja blast your tits off

(via unyanizedcatboys)

Would you follow me…off a cliff?

Hand in hand, you know? Dramatically, before the cops catch us?

Some of you touch grass too much.

As in, you like. Get on your hands and knees and eat it. And you need to see a doctor.

The real question is if the little kid will be a spy or an assassin when she grows up.

Spy x family got dilf and milf energy, spy x assassin, found family, feminist kings, girl bosses, adorable assassin child in the making, what else do you need?

Spy x Family: the found family we all need in these trying times.

prokopetz:

prokopetz:

I feel like everybody who’s only familiar with John Constantine as the guy from those memes about getting railed by King Shark should really be aware that John Constantine is a literal wizard. In fact, he’s the DC universe’s iconic wizard – Marvel gets Doctor Strange, and DC gets the poster boy for Bad Bisexual Representation™ over here. I feel like this adds some much needed context to the shark fucking.

@pedrosteckecilo replied:

Is Dr. Fate a joke to you?

If DC wanted us to take Doctor Fate seriously, letting his writers actually wrap up a storyline before cancelling whatever ongoing title he’s headlining this week would be a great start. =P

emma-d-klutz:

animentality:

Looking for submissive and breedable men that can lift at least 149 pounds and own trucks and have a few shovels they won’t miss and are free this weekend.

This weekend? This was posted 8 minutes ago on a Saturday. What state of decay are you already at?

I didn’t say anything about decay but if any of these submissive men have lye or sulfuric acid handy, and 5-8 hours to kill, we could have a party.

Looking for submissive and breedable men that can lift at least 149 pounds and own trucks and have a few shovels they won’t miss and are free this weekend.